to boldly go where no man has gone before....

For this post, we are going to take a little journey, a journey through time and space, deep INTO space.

I'm talking, of course, about Star Trek.

There is nowhere else in the galaxy where we could find a finer example of identity than on the USS Enterprise. We simply walk on to the bridge, turn to our right, take a few steps, and there he is: the fascinating Mr. Spock.

Science officer and first officer aboard the flagship for the United Federation of Planets, Spock holds a place of huge power and responsibility. He is almost uniformly respected, obeyed, and admired...almost. Spock has two rather noticeable things that set him apart from the rest of the crew: his two pointy ears. These self-same ears, hallmark of his half-Vulcan half-human heritage, place Spock on a different level than any of his human crew members, and Spock becomes the sad proof that, yes, prejudice still exists in the future.

Because the Vulcans revere logic, Spock is logical to the point of coldness, undeniably practical, and pointedly sardonic in his observations of human shortcomings. Although he may respect many beings, he has few friends, and rarely recognizes them as such. He is critical, exacting, and lacks empathetic understanding of many basic human emotions. These qualities make him even more of an "alien" among the all too human crew of the Enterprise. Despite the occassional butting of heads and the periodic alienation of his alien self, Spock is the best at what he does, and feels he could be needed nowhere else as much as on a ship of illogical humans. Loyal, smart, resourceful, determined, brave, and honest, Spock is as good a man as anyone without green blood, and twice as useful for his Vulcan qualities.

It is Spock's quest for self that becomes most interesting when related to our bigger question. Torn forever between two worlds, Spock can be perfectly happy in neither; he is not completely understood by humans and not completely accepted by Vulcans. Spock also faces the struggle between both his primal human side and his native Vulcan logic; unable to fully offer love, but always longing for it, the dark eyes of the second officer often epitomize loneliness, isolation, and the inability to belong. It is this continual struggle to find a balance between warring halves of his identity that make Spock such a useful character study.

So what can we learn from the human Mr. Spock, the vulcan Mr. Spock, and the total entity of our Star Trek friend?

1. It is possible to having two opposing sides of self.


2. It is only by seeking balance between both sides, denying neither, that one can be truly happy.


3. Sometimes this balance must be created and sought after, not easily recieved. The balance for Spock is his only home, the Enterprise itself. Because happiness is elusive on both Vulcan and Earth, Spock seeks a literal middleground in his journey across the universe. This parallels the nature of the island in Shakespeare's The Tempest; sometimes one must seek abroad to find a "great equalizer," a place where all desires can be realized.

Spock says it best himself when he states what all creatures must aim to do, no matter what their crisis of identity may be: "Live long, and prosper."

"make no mistake: you are a doom-born man."

Possibly the single most tragic case of discovering true identity is Oedipus, from Sophocles' good old Oedipus Rex.

For those who don't know, Oedipus is the cursed son of a cursed father, fated to commit patricide and marry his own mother. It really is a sorrowful tale, because Oedipus is guilty of one fatal flaw: he is consumed with a desire to know.

When Oedipus' city of Thebes is ravaged by plague and natural disaster, covered with the misery of thousands of citizens, and consumed with endless suffering, the king begins his quest for answers. Sending a messenger to Delphi to consult a holy Oracle, Oedipus learns that the cause of all the agony of Thebes is that the murderer of the former king Laius still lives. As Oedipus begins to search for the murderer, he also unearths secrets of his own past. The people he thought were his parents were not related to him by any blood ties. A highway altercation with an older, kingly man takes on new sinister meanings. His own wife Jocasta begins to appear...motherly. Still, despite repeated pleadings from all who love him, Oedipus demands the truth. He seeks, with his characteristic unerrring honesty, to know, to understand. His great courage compels him to look into that which he fears, dregging up pain from the past in an effort to right wrongs, save a city, find out who he is.

It is this searching, this continual looking beyond, that ultimately leads to the loss of Oedipus' crown and his ability to look at anything ever again.

So what do we learn from Oedpius that we can use to help us with our big question?

1. We create fate. The fall of the House of Oedipus was foretold by the gods, but it was Oedipus himself, his personality, his drive to know, that ultimately brought about the fall. He crafted his own fate with his own soul.


2. It is vitally important to recognize our strengths and weaknesses as human beings and how to use these strengths and weaknesses, rather than be ruled by them. Oedipus' enormous pride, his temper, his inability to trust others, his incredible impatience: all contribute to his downfall, helped by his better qualities of courage, honesty, and curiousity.


3. To quote another wonderful play, Hamlet: "We know what we are, but not what we may be." There is more (good, bad, ugly, beautiful, powerful, strong, etc) to everyone than meets the eye.

EYE hope you remember that when you think back on Oedipus!

how do we define who we are?

Hey there everyone!

My name is Meghan.

I am five feet, six inches tall.

I love sunflowers and Star Trek and licking cake batter off of wooden spoons and the way broken window glass from old cars looks like freshly sliced diamonds.

I prefer rainy weather.

And I read ravenously.

Except I lied about the six inches part.

I'm actually 5' 5 3/4''. I figure personality (and my copius amounts of curly hair) can make up for the difference.

The reason I'm telling you so much about me is because I am so interested in you! I love people, you see. I like to know what they are thinking and feeling and talking about and what magazines they read on airplanes. Maybe you don't read magazines on airplanes. Maybe you prefer magazines for late at night before you fall asleep. Maybe you only subscribe to Ceramics Monthly and keep a stack of old pages for fuel for your kiln. Maybe you hate all magazines. Heck, you might even hate all pottery! Point is, I am insatiably curious about who you are. I'd also like to know who I am, and who we all are together.

That's my big question.

Who are you?

When I was a little girl, my best friend Chelley and I would sit on my bed with the windows open to let in summer sunlight, surrounded by stacks and stacks of toy animals. We played with stuffed, plastic, felt-covered, ancient, fresh-out-of-the-package; we loved playing with just about any animals. The way to play the game was to put all the animals in the center of the bed, then each take turns picking them until we had little "clans." Then we'd tell the story of the clans.

"Okay, Chell, this is the chief of my clan. His name is Rivereyes. He's the biggest and strongest lynx, but he's gotten a little crazy after all of his battle wounds to the head. And---and---and---nobody really likes him." (I had a bit of a stutter when I was small. I got all excited and couldn't get the words out fast enough.)

Our clans were fascinatingly intricate, with loves and friends and brothers and sisters and secret brothers and sisters and hiding places. There were always the outsiders. There was almost always travel involved. Sometimes, when we were in the mood, we'd create song and dance numbers for the clans. We even videotaped a couple of our best performances on Chelley's old camcorder.

See, from a very young age, I just wanted to know the story. Why was Rivereyes so mean to Hangclaw? Oh, of course---because Hangclaw is his cousin, and next in line for the role as the leader! Why did no one ever go down to the bend in the river anymore? Why did your clan not come to the meeting at the full moon? Why? Why? WHY? Why do you do what you do? Why are you the way you are?

Who are you?

And, most importantly, why?